about the title

Now that I've posted about my summer this explanation should make a little more sense. On the way from Ute Trail to Dallas at the end of our first session, our bus broke down in Amarillo, Texas, the most dangerous city in the entire state. Fortunately, we did break down in an actual city rather than on the side of the road. Kirk, Abbie, Josh, Reeder, and I were forced to be adults at 3:30am in a Pilot gas station after two weeks of basically no sleep. Kirk figured out all of the logistics with the bus company, and the rest of us kept our eyes on our kids, all 52 of them. We ended up spending about three hours in five hotel rooms at America's Best Inn and Suites; for real, those three hours might be the best sleep I've ever gotten in my life. As we were getting ready to check out of the hotel around 9 or 10 and figure out what to do next, Kirk received a text message from one of his buddies reading "may the vision of the Lord be the death of me", what a perfect message to send to five college kids stuck at a gas station with 52 high school kids. It's stayed with me, and I continue to refer back to it. My life is not my own; I want more of Him and less of me. I want to submit my life for His will... which means letting go of me to take hold of Him.

the countdown begins with a little summer backtrack

Only 3ish days till I step on an airplane that will take me farther than I've ever been, and I'd be lying to you if I said that I wasn't nervous. I trust in the Lord, so my current prayer is that He'll free me from this anxiety I have. He's made it clear that this is where I'm supposed to be. For real, the Lord has blessed me every step of this process. The cost is less than it would be if I were staying at Ole Miss for the semester, my visa came through, I worked at Sky Ranch this summer.
SUMMER BACKTRACK:
I feel like I should put something in here about my summer because I feel like the Lord used the summer as a time of preparation for Spain and never in my life have I been so changed in the short time of 3ish months. So when I reference my summer in the future (because it's gonna happen), here's a little background. I had the amazing opportunity to serve as a Quest counselor with Sky Ranch, so here's a little bit about my summer and what the Lord did.

WHAT is QUEST? glad you asked...
Quest is a two week leadership camp for high school kids. The first week is spent at Sky Ranch @ Cave Springs in Oklahoma learning how to do inductive Bible studies, playing in the ice cold springs, doing a wide variety of activities such as ATVs and the ziplines, participatin in tribal comp (ZULU bleed blue!), having a blast at the stinkin' awesome night events (MI is a total exception- haha), learning how to love each other, and tearing down walls. The second week is spent at Sky Ranch Ute Trail in Colorado where everything learned at Cave is put into practice through practical experience, doing the ropes course, whitewater rafting, hiking up to the top of the world (rock in tow) and spending the night outside, and learning how to serve others through various chores around camp.

WHO MAKES QUEST AWESOME? even better question...
The Lord blessed Quest with two sets of fabulous assistant directors (ADs) with Chris, Kendra, and Brenton at Cave and Courtney and Malcolm at Ute. They planned everything, loved on us, and overall, made our jobs much easier, as did Dustin and Ryan, the camp directors, and their wives, Julie and Jen. I was put on a team with five of the most incredible people you will ever meet, should you all have the opportunity to meet them. Together, we traveled over ten thousand miles across Oklahoma, Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Kansas. We were together for obscene amounts of time, and by the grace of the Lord, we never ran into serious conflict, well, none after the Lord healed mine and Josh's relationship. Together, we loved on kids and we loved on each other. We survived a crazy 13 hour delay in Amarillo, Texas, a month without a true day off, JP, Carmie, and Coach Mullins- our fearless bus drivers, dinners of cheese sandwiches and cocktail weinies, two hikes up the mountain with hail (Abbie, Reeder, and Courtney) and countless other things that have not made this list. I may never see these people again, but to Kirk, Abbie, Josh, Rusty, and Reeder, I am forever changed because of the role you played in my life this summer. Thank you for your encouragement, your laughs which kept my sanity, your shoulders that caught plenty of my tears, your prayers, and your love. I love all of you and I pray that the Lord will continue to use you in the lives of others.

WAIT, SO WHAT DID YOU ACTUALLY DO? besides ride a bus for insane amounts of hours...
Basically, my job was to love on the girls that came through the program, while pushing them beyond their physical and spiritual limits. My cabin was the Palace, primarily 15 year old girls, and I got to be a big sister/friend for two weeks. The Lord created a safe environment within my cabin and allowed my girls to open up and share who they are with me. In return, they had the opportunity to see who I am, a college kid trying to live my life for Christ. These girls kept me laughing and kept me relying on the Lord. They asked tough questions, and the Lord provided answers. I'd be lying to you if I said this job wasn't hard, just try spending crazy amounts of time on a bus and having to be energized at all hours of the day and night. The Lord is faithful, and He provided- he kept me energized and healthy and filled with the Holy Spirit. He also kept me on my toes and never allowed me, or the rest of my team, to get comfortable. Comfort brings complacency, and really, who benefits from complacency? For real, it was the best job ever. I learned how to love and what it really means to be a servant of the Lord.

getting a visa- really not that much fun.

Okay, so for any of you who ever plan on getting a visa, start the process now! Oh, if only that were an actual possibility. For real, getting this visa has been the biggest headache of the whole study abroad process. Spain, like most European countries, requires visas for all people remaining in their country longer than 90 days. In short, of course I needed a visa. Thankfully, student visas are more readily available than work visas. I applied for my visa this summer but only after receiving my passport (it had to be renewed). European consulates ask for your passport with your visa application, which means that you can't leave the country until you get your visa- clever, really. About ten days before I left, I realized that I still didn't have my visa, so I got on the phone with my congressman in Washington. After a week of calling my congressman, the Spanish consulate, and my study abroad advisor in Oxford, and a whole lot of prayer, I finally got approval from the consulate. Once again, the Lord provided beyond my expectations. He also blessed my mom and I with a wonderful night in New Orleans. In order to get my visa, I had to show my face to the Spanish consulate. New Orleans is a wonderful city, even two years after Katrina. We ate on the balcony of a local restaurant on Jackson Square, where we were serenaded by New Orleans jazz from the street below. The night was topped off with beignets at Cafe Du Monde (a must for any newbies to New Orleans!) and a nice walk down Bourbon Street, which my mom called our "educational experience" of the night. At 9am on Monday morning, I went to the Spanish consulate, and I now am in possession of my visa and passport! God is good!

i'm missing football season because?

Last fall, I knew that I wanted a change of scenery at some point during my college career, preferably during rush (I love Chi-O but rush is one of my least favorite times of the year). Honestly, I initially thought that I'd be a visiting student at Texas A&M or the University of Oklahoma. I visited some of my Sky Ranch friends last fall at A&M for the OU game, and really, I never imagined loving a school that much that wasn't my own. I talked with my honors college advisors about possibly doing research for my senior thesis (topic is still TBA) at another school in the states. After more research, I realized that, as much as I may want to be an aggie or a sooner for a semster, studying abroad would provide a greater benefit. After listening to my academic goals, my study abroad advisor at Ole Miss recommended that I investigate CIDE (Centro Internacional Deusto de Español) and their program with the universidad de deusto in Bilbao, Spain. The program proved to be everything that I was looking for, all I had to do was ask my parents. I received their approval on the condition that Spain would not cost anymore than Ole Miss would for the fall. God is good and provided beyond my expectations. All of my scholarships transfered over to Spain. I wouldn't have to pay for food at the sorority house (a decent expense at Ole Miss). For the first time, Northwest Airlines offered a free plane ticket to 2 Ole Miss students traveling abroad in the fall. I filled out the application, and much to my surprise, I received the scholarship. I will always be grateful for Jim Barksdale, the founder of Netscape, and his commitment to excellence at Ole Miss and the Sally McDonnell Barksdale Honors College. Because of his generosity, in the form of a $100 million endowment, I had the opportunity to apply for, and subsequently, received a student stipend. The Lord provided beyond my expectations, and studying in Spain will actually be cheaper than studying at Ole Miss in the fall. God is so good!